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Ghosting isn’t the only toxic dating trend in people’s repertoires; there’s also Caspering, Cloaking, Houseplanting, and now Zombieing.
The pandemic has done a lot of things like turn the world on its head but it’s also turned relationships and dating on its head, too.
More people are taking dating more seriously and being less superficial on dating apps since their dating priorities have shifted. The pandemic is a real reminder of how fragile life can be and is which tends to make people refocus on what’s truly important.
Along with that, has come the rise of ‘zombieing’. So what is it and why is it here?
During the pandemic and lockdown, 25% of people in a study admitted that an ex reached out to them and 10% actually got back together with an old flame!
Zombieing is when someone who ghosted you finds their way back into your life from the dead as though nothing ever happened.
That, my friends, is what we call a red flag.
If someone ghosts you and sneaks back into your life with not even as much as an apology or even acknowledgement that it happened, run the other way. Someone who can’t be vulnerable, communicate or acknowledge how their behavior might have been hurtful to you isn’t someone you want to be involved with.
Why do people zombie?
Refinery29 spoke to a handful of experts who have quite a few theories.
Some say it’s boredom!
Others like Kate Balestrieri, PsyD, says it’s attention-seeking behavior.
“They want to see if they can still get a reaction. They’re using it as a way to get validation if they’re feeling low about themselves.”Kate Balestrieri, Certified Sexpert
She goes on to add “they might realize that they missed out on an opportunity to get to know you and they’re hoping that there’s still a chance at that.”
Or, again, it could also be a giant red flag and a big F for failure to communicate properly.
What do you do if someone zombies their way back into your life?
You can genuinely call them out on their previous ghosting behavior. If they text you, you can respond back while acknowledging the ‘ghosting’. This will put them in a place where they
- Have to explain why they’re reaching out and what their intentions are
- They’ll now know that you won’t let that behavior slide without some kind of acknowledgement/accountability.
From there you can choose if you want to get to know them again, depending on their answer. But remember, just because someone creeps back into your life does 👏 not 👏 mean 👏 you 👏 owe 👏 them 👏 anything! If you don’t even wanna acknowledge their text, that’s fair game!
Ghost the ghoster and the zombier since they’re the same goddamn person. And instead, spend your time getting to know someone who didn’t make a massive boo boo the first time around.
If you’ve been zombied and don’t wanna give them the time of day, hop on Clover and find someone actually worth it!
If you’re media and want to reach our Editor, Moira Ghazal, email her at social @ clover . co