Oh, lovely, one more difficult dating definition to add to our roster. Tindstagramming.
What is Tindstagramming?
Tindstagramming (a combination of the words Tinder and Instagram) is basically when the person you’ve swiped left to on a dating app finds you on Instagram and DMs you because they obviously didn’t understand rejection the first time.
This can happen off of any dating app and guys, it’s WEIRD. Don’t do it. No matter how badly you want to get to know someone you spotted on a dating app.
If you are a Tindstagrammer please understand that it’s intrusive, weird, and creepy. No, it’s not a ‘harmless gesture’ to show your interest or to stand out from the crowd. Samantha Burns, a dating coach, puts why it feels like such a violation perfectly:
You joined a dating app so you could find dates with whom you mutually match, and you likely did not sign up for Instagram to be bombarded by dudes, especially ones you already ruled out.Samantha Burns, Dating Coach
So, why do they do it?
- They want to stand out from the crowd on the dating app
- They want to show you that they’re VERY interested in you
- Ego; they probably think you left swiped on them ‘by mistake’ and they want to get a second chance for you to change your mind
- They might not be confident that their dating profile represents them well and they want you to see them in a different light (more pictures on Instagram allow for that, but if they curated their dating profile better this wouldn’t be an issue!!)
And while this is a common trend, it’s more common in men than it is in women. Don’t get it twisted, women can creep for HOURS on end but that’s usually the extent of the creeping. According to Burns, women don’t initiate as often on dating apps so they’re less likely to do it on a social networking platform especially when the intentions are romantic.
I’ve been Tindstagrammed, now what?!
Are you ready for the easiest choose your own adventure ever?!
- You’re an adult and can gauge whether or not you want to respond and open a line of communication with this person. You know what’s best for you!
- You can decline their message in your DMs and move on with your day!
Both options are fine as long as you’re happy and safe!
Tindstagramming is like negging, just don’t do it
Comparing tindstagramming to negging isn’t even fair because negging is literally satan and should never, ever, ever be done. Regardless, just don’t tindstagram someone.
If they’ve left swiped you, don’t seek them out on other platforms to message them there. Move 👏 on 👏. Plus, no love story ever started off with “she rejected me on Tinder, but then I found her profile on Instagram and DMed her. She was obviously creeped out and didn’t respond, I DMed her again, until she had no choice but to go out with me because that was her only option at some point”
H/T: Women’s Health