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You meet someone and immediately hit it off. Texts flow easily, you’re making each other laugh and it feels good! You see each other in person and you have butterflies in your tummy! Things are going well, and then you find out one minor detail or see something that makes those very, very rose-colored glasses at the beginning of the relationship slowly slide off.
That is ‘the ick‘.
You know exactly what I’m talking about too. It’s not a major deal breaker but for some reason it’s just this feeling of incompatibility yet you simply just cannot move past it!
What the hell is ‘The Ick’?
‘The Ick’ is an actual real psychological effect but the term itself was coined on Love Island by Olivia when she was coupled up with Sam and caught the ick. At first, things were going great and then BAM.
“When you’ve seen a boy, and got the ick, it doesn’t go,” she said in an interview on the show. “It’s caught you, and it’s taken over your body. It’s just ick. I can’t shake it off.”Olivia, Love Island
It’s not meant to be a vindictive or mean thing. It’s literally just human nature.
Just like how you can hit it off completely on Zoom dates during quarantine but meet IRL and notice the sparks FIZZLE REAL FAST.
“The ick” is simply your subconscious “red-flagging” incompatibilities between you and someone else. Someone might be totally okay with farting in front of their partner meanwhile the other person thinks it’s too personal, for example.
And when you put someone on a pedestal at the beginning of the relationship (which don’t lie to yourself, we all do), it can really knock the person down like sixteen pegs. And sometimes it’s unsalvageable and that’s ok! It’s human psychology!
Like do you remember that episode of Friends where Chandler sleeps with Rachel’s boss and just can’t get over the mascara collected in the corner of her eye? Yeah, that’s the ick.
Maybe they chew too loudly and your reproductive organs were just like NOPE. They’re not necessarily RED FLAGS or DEAL BREAKERS but they definitely humanize the person more to the point where the pressures of having a crush kind of dissipate!
The good thing about ‘the ick’ is that it’s not completely fool-proof
According to dating expert James Preece, the ick can hold you back from real happiness sometimes! So don’t follow it blindly. It’s important to be introspective and more in tune with what you truly want and don’t want and to know when to push past the ick or when to listen to it!
The ick can be instant or it can take a while to develop but no matter what, we can’t deny the fact that the ick definitely exists!
Hop on to Clover and find someone who doesn’t ick you out?
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If you’re media and want to reach our Editor, Moira Ghazal, email her at social @ clover . co