Out with the old, in with the new! Hopefully, the new isn’t toxic, but let’s be real: humans have been shitty since time immemorial. So to manage your expectations, expect some toxic dating trends this decade but let’s keep our fingers crossed that it isn’t much! (Faith in humanity?! What’s that?)

But let’s get one thing out of the way: we can ALL be a little shitty when it comes to dating, especially online dating. The added anonymity and lack of humanness makes it way easier to be shitty to people even when you don’t mean to be. Heck, I know I’ve ghosted really nice guys before for no other reason than I was super anxious about the whole thing. Or gone a few days without responding to someone because I genuinely forgot.

But, let’s at least try to treat these toxic dating trends like exes and leave them where they belong: in the tra- I mean, past. Only kindness in 2020…unless they REALLY deserve it, then we can meet somewhere in the middle, okay?

1. Comparing

This applies to things even beyond your dating life. In this new decade, we stop comparing our sex lives, dating lives, successes, failures, and lift each other up instead. On the 2nd day of 2020, WWIII was on the brink of occurring, so it takes an EXTRA large village to make life better now.

Plus, comparison/envy/jealousy is actually more toxic for the person feeling these emotions than the person you’re projecting them on.

Let 👏 Go 👏 Of 👏 That 👏 Shit

2. Houseplanting

Instagram Illustrator, Samantha Rothenberg, posted that illustration on her feed and it BLEW THE HELL UP. Why? ‘Cause literally everyone and their mom has been houseplanted. I know I’ve been and I know I’ve done it to people (years ago, don’t @me). Long story short, you neglect the person you’re dating or seeing and that’s a hurtful, immature, and unkind.

Being straightforward, honest, and kind is the best way to go this decade.

3. Ghosting

It’s SO easy to ghost someone instead of having an awkward, seemingly-difficult conversation with someone. But, having that tough convo is actually worth it, for you and for them.

See, social rejection can trigger the same pain pathways in the brain as physical pain. Plus, according to psychologists, ghosting also gives the person being ghosted no cue on how to react or how to feel, which is super emotionally distressing for them.

Now, you don’t owe a heart to heart with every person you see or date but a quick text (when text is appropriate) saying you’re not interested in a kind way is the best way to go!

Maturity for President 2020!

4. Cloaking

Cloaking is probably the most obviously mean thing on this list. It’s being stood up on a date and while being stood up, the offender blocks you from every form of contact.

Plain evil. Don’t be evil.

5. Breadcrumbing

Hey, let’s not send mixed signals for months on end to people, yeah?. There’s nothing more infuriating than being unsure if the person is into you but they keep liking your selfies, keep watching your stories and sending you the goddamn 😍 to your story selfies but never do anything about it or never agree or ask to meet up.

Let’s NOT pull our hair out in 2020.

6. Boomeranging

Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. Just ’cause you can go back to your ex, doesn’t mean you should. Just ’cause you can eat your poop, doesn’t mean you should. You see where I’m going with this.

To be fair, there is a caveat to this: If the person has made an actual effort in correcting the behavior(s) that ended the relationship, then give it a try. Don’t fall for empty promises, though.

ACTIONS NOT APOLOGIES THIS DECADE. 🎉

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If you’re media and want to reach our Editor, Moira Ghazal, email her at [email protected]