We’ve been told that the key to finding a ‘soulmate’ (whatever that means) is looking for someone who likes the same things you do.
If that were true, then why do we bond so strongly with people that actually hate the same things we do? Truth is, the whole finding someone who likes the same things you do is a goddamn lie and we all know it.
That’s not to say that having common interests isn’t helpful in creating a pleasant bond with your partner but it’s not really the primary foundation a relationship needs in order to be successful for the long haul.
Here’s where Clover’s filters come in.
According to couples psychologist Dr. Peter Pearson, interests are nice and all but what’s crucial is finding a partner who shares the same core values as you.
Core values sound like something your company spewed at you during a 2-hour brand meeting and you’re right, those are the same core values we’re talking about. Just as core values are important for companies to succeed, they’re important for relationships as well, so girl sit down, grab a glass of wine and listen.
Dr. Pearson says that differences in interests can be negotiated or compromised but differences in core values cannot; and eventually, they’ll turn into aspects of resentment and pain points in the relationship and that is no bueno.
And no, the core values I’m talking about aren’t your love for Chick-Fil-A, though we wish that were one of them. These are some ways to think of your core values:
- Do you value money?
- Do you value appearance?
- Do you value success?
With those in mind, you can use Clover’s filters to find someone who has the same underlying core values as you. You can filter based off of many things, but the ones that specifically speak to core values are filtering for occupation, income, children, religion, star sign, whether they smoke, drink, or do drugs.
Here are some examples of filtering based off of core values:
1. Think about why you value money
If you value money in a minimalistic way, because it provides you with food and shelter, then you can filter for people with a modest income. Similarly, you can filter for people with higher incomes to match a more money focused lifestyle.
2. Think about why you value appearance
If you value physical appearance, toggle the filters for exactly what you’re looking for!
3. Think about why you value success
If you value success, how do you gauge success? Is it money or is it occupation? Whatever the answer is, there’s a filter for both! Use them to your advantage to find exactly what you want in a partner.
The more you know, the better you date
See you on Clover.