Healthy relationships hit differently!
Everything is just like the stars align, the sun is out and everything is *chefs kiss*, perfection, in a healthy relationship. Toxic relationships tend to have an unbalanced feel where the sex is great but everything else is no bueno. Healthy ones, on the other hand, have good sex, good communication, good laughs, and even good lows and good fights!
A vibin’ relationship is when both people’s needs are being heard and met. Toxic ones, on the other hand, are where they’re not. These are the 10 things a relationship needs to be healthy according to therapists, there are 10 qualities that are total must-haves for a relationship to be healthy.
1. Trust
Happy, healthy, and successful couples trust each other and not just to not cheat on each other. They trust each other in finances, in life, in family, in values, in how they want to raise their kids, etc. They are aligned with each other!
In 2013, a study conducted on married couples found those who trusted one another were more satisfied. It measured trust in three ways: predictability, dependability, and faith in your partner.
2. Clear communication
Clear and direct communication is a big sign of health! Chris Leeth, PhD says direct communication is important for two reasons: 1) both people are able to express their needs in a way that the other person understands 2) both people can understand and truly *hear* what the other person is conveying.
With this kind of communication, you can express yourself and your feelings properly and can resolve conflicts better.
In fact, in 2018, 15 studies showed that couples are happier with their relationship when they use constructive and clarifying statements to understand the other person.
Hot tip: schedule fun bi-weekly check-ins to temperature gauge your relationship, your future, etc. Order food in and make a night of it!
3. Independence
Having your own hobbies, friendships and routines are integral to the overall health of your relationship.
“Intimate relationships are all about finding a balance between ‘I’ and ‘We’,” says Emily Jordan Jensen, PhD.
It’s important to be independent enough to be able to differentiate your individual needs, but to still be
team-oriented enough.
4. Appreciation
43 longitudinal studies of couples has proven that appreciation is one of the strongest predictors of a happy relationship.
Appreciation is like the grease that keeps things turning; it makes positivity the focus of the relationship and helps keep everyone feeling loved and satisfied.
5. Needs are being met
No one’s needs are being prioritized over anyone else’s. It’s not codependent or controlling; it’s harmonious and well-balanced!
6. You argue
It’s how you disagree and argue that defines how healthy your relationship is. If you find yourself getting trapped in a cycle of blame, shame, and ego, let that shit go! Healthy relationships argue to get to a common goal: an understanding of the root problem and resolving conflict respectfully.
Keep it respectful and with the common goal in mind, and you’ll be golden!
In fact, not arguing at all can be a red flag! Conflict happens in every relationship and it will (if you’re not ignoring problems) happen in your romantic relationship, too. Not arguing just means one or both of you are ignoring problems or squashing feelings down; either way it isn’t sustainable long-term.
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