There’s nothing worse than finding an absolute heartthrob who’s not only totally up your alley physically, but whose personality checks the boxes (well, by what you know from his bio and your filters), and then realizing you’re just as stumped on what to say as you would have been had you seen him at the bar.

Wait, actually, there is something worse than that: finding that person with all the qualifications, and you just sending a “hey, how’s it going?”

*slaps phone out of hand*

DON’T.

Have no fear though, I am here. Think of me as a hidden earpiece to guide you toward the right things to say and how to say it, except you gotta figure out that whole “be charming” part.

Let’s get chatting, shall we?

1. Stand👏out👏from👏the👏crowd

You’re on a dating app.

This means that the person you’re eyeing up is also being sized up by HUNDREDS of other people.

The key to being successful in the online dating world is by standing out by using your uniqueness in your favor. Don’t be afraid to be yourself. If you’re goofy in real life and don’t take yourself too seriously, portray that in your first message! What better way to break the ice than with a laugh?

Why not ask them a weird ass riddle? Example: What would you rather fight? 100 duck sized horses or 1 horse sized duck.

2. Use their profile to your advantage

Don’t let their profile go to waste!

They’ve spent at leaaaaast a good 10 minutes thinking long and hard about what the best parts of themselves are to make a good first impression.

If they mention their pet, find a way to tailor your message to mention their adorable pupper, Spot. Maybe even negotiate the puppy into the terms and conditions of the date. Example: “I will go out with you under one condition.” Wait for them to ask you what the hell you’re talking about then hit ’em with “You bring the cute puppy”; and you’ll be guaranteed not only one cute date, but two!

3. Break the ice by sharing something about yourself first!

This may sound weird but bear with me.

Instead of going the “hey, how are you?” route, go “Hi! Love that you love coffee, anyone who knows me knows I can’t start my day without it. Maybe we can start our day together soon and grab a coffee!”

SEE! Date set and match! (I don’t watch tennis so I have no idea what I actually just said).

Or if you want to get less direct to a date right away you could tweak it like this: “Hi! Love that you love coffee, anyone who knows me knows I can’t start my day without it. What’s your favorite coffee shop?”

BOOM. Conversation started!

4. Similar to the point above, include something that establishes a connection between you two.

Find something you guys have in common in their bio or through their filters and mention it in your opener! This way, you establish a connection early on and it sets you apart from the rest of the competition!