Listen, the truth is that relationships are hard. They’re hard to maintain, hard to invest in, and hard to grow with. That’s not to say they’re not worth it, though. And, with all of that, long-distance relationships, as you can imagine, are even harder!
Since college is back in session, I’m sure many of you didn’t think you’d be in a long-distance relationship, but the heart wants what it wants, and as our wicked cool fore-memers said: “it be like that sometimes!”
Here are some simple tips to make the distance a hell of a lot easier for you.
1. Communication is a balancing act
I’m sure all of you have heard that one of the keys to a healthy and happy relationship (long-distance or not!) is communication.
But lots of people forget to mention the part where what you communicate is more important than the mere act of communicating.
Don’t communicate for the sake of communicating! Texting each other 14 hours a day will just exhaust both of you and, ultimately, the relationship. Update each other on life, love, family, drama, but don’t think that the mere act of being in constant contact is enough.
2. Manage your expectations and set boundaries
This is an important tip for ANY relationship. Don’t assume the relationship is anything until you’ve thoroughly discussed it with your partner.
Being blindsided halfway through midterms is something I’m sure all of you would like to avoid. So make sure you’ve discussed things like if the relationship is monogamous, what the level of commitment is here, what the end goal of this relationship is, or even setting small, silly-sounding (but ultimately important) goals like “let’s call each other at least 4 times a week!”
3. Sext! Sext! Sext!!!!
These aren’t your grandma’s long-distance relationship tips and tricks (or maybe they are? Grandma could totes be a freak, who knows!)
But sext as much as possible. Keeping that sexual tension alive is important especially if you don’t get to see each other very often. You don’t want to wake up one day and realize that your relationship has slowly turned into a platonic pen pal, that shiz is not good!
4. Do things together, but apart!
WE LIVE IN 20F***ING19! Your phone literally makes this long-distance business so much easier! Your grandma had to sit at a table, pour her heart out on paper and basically send it by pigeon, waiting MONTHS to hear back! You send a text once and if you don’t get a response immediately you die.
Do things together, but apart! Sounds weird, but watch a Netflix show while live-tweeting/texting each other! Or stay talking on the phone while dissecting the plot line as your favorite show unfolds together, as you would’ve if they were in the same room. Download some silly games on your phone like scrabble to keep that fun and competitive aspect to your relationship alive!
5. Enjoy the time apart!
As much as long-distance relationships suck, they’re actually kinda cool too! You get to be as independent as you want to be while still fostering a healthy relationship. I mean, this is also possible in a regular distance relationship, but the distance definitely forces you to be independent..
So, use that distance for the better! Use it to enjoy your friends more, hang out with your family, and be alone! Remember, your end goal is to eventually find your way back to being in the same city as each other and when that happens, you’ll relish the days you were apart! LOL TRUST ME.
6. Honesty is the best policy
This applies for all relationships but make sure you maintain honest and open communication. Don’t hold things back from your partner, share your feelings, your fears, your insecurities or else you’ll bottle it up, and who knows WHEN the hell it’ll explode!
7. Be social, on social media
If both of you are active on social media, send each other funny memes that remind you of each other, keep liking each other’s posts and pictures, hype each other up when one of you posts a selfie, and don’t ever let that die! Foster that relationship, I know it might seem silly but an online presence really feeds into the health of the overall relationship, especially if both parties are active on social media.
8. Give each other a memento to hold on to till next time!
There is a lot of power in mementos and memories. You know, like when your boyfriend gave you his baggiest tee to sleep in and you ended up wearing it until it became paper thin and started to completely fall apart (and then YOU STILL KEPT IT)
With a little something to remember them by, they won’t feel so far away!
9. Send each other snail mail to change things up!
Nothing literally says I care about you like a care package once in a while! What better way to spoil your love with a box full of their favorite things that’ll put a gigantic smile on their face!
Even a letter will make your partner feel super loved. You could’ve sent them a text, but you decided to take the time to write them a letter! That shit is few and far between these days.
10. Stay positive and be grateful!
Again, a tip that applies for all relationships but it’s especially important in long-distance relationships because “out of sight, out of mind” makes it very easy to forget how the person makes you feel. Practice being actively grateful and viewing things in as positive of a light as possible.
Some days are gonna be complete shit and that’s okay. But definitely try to approach issues that involve your relationship by giving your partner the benefit of the doubt and jumping into issues positively!